Woodworking Project: Dying to Read

Okay, so I don't want to write this post. Writing this post is going to force me to think about a project that I've wasted WAY too much time thinking about already. But the only way I can make you read about it (misery loves company and all that) is to write about it. So ... yeah. Hopefully you really hate this post, but feel obliged to read it anyway for some unknown reason. That way we're both miserable at the same time. Hashtag squad goals.

Geez, I hated this project.

So we've got this sort of landing area at the top of the stairs that we've always rather facetiously referred to as "the bonus room" after the horrible sort of terminology used by the horrible sort of people that appear on House Hunters. It's really nothing more than a staging area for laundry baskets and a convenient railing that I use to hang how ever many pairs of pants I happen to be alternating between that week.

Already you know too much. This is going great.

Anyway, a few years back we stuck the dictionary stand there (I could have sworn I had written a post about it, but apparently not), just as something to fill the space, and then later we added a little bookshelf that we use to keep the books that we've bought but haven't got around to reading yet. (If you know me at all, you know that yes, we definitely needed a dedicated shelf just for this.) A little after THAT, the War Department found a nice-ish glass case that fit reasonably well on top of the bookcase which she promptly started filling with skulls and bits of bones and old bullets and pieces of driftwood that look like zombie legs. (If you know her at all, you found exactly none of that surprising in any way.)

Here's what that area has looked like for oh, probably a good five or six years now (though the skulls and books have rotated in and out at various intervals):

Someone who shall remain nameless (because I really can't remember whose fault it was, to be honest) thought that maybe we could use an upgrade there - a nicer bookshelf and a larger display case. I thought it would be great to get rid of the mismatched case and cabinet anyway, and had some ideas for how to make a two-piece set that would nest together nicely. (Skulls and books: the "Dying to Read" bookshelf, right? Clever, eh? No? Piss off.)

One of the other things I really wanted to do was use up some of the scrap wood I had laying around taking up space in my wood shed. (I seriously need to do a post about my wood shed.) I specifically wanted to use up some of that terrible "Baltic birch" I bought to do the bent bookcases that wound up being so shitty. I figured it wouldn't matter if I sanded through that micro-thin top layer as I was planning on painting the thing anyway. As a bonus, I had already cut down the majority of it into roughly bookcase-like dimensions anyway.

So I pulled out the bits of plywood and went rummaging around in the rest of my bin for scraps I could use for the edge banding and "frames" for the sides of the upper display cabinet. I came across some wood that was at LEAST as equally shitty as the plywood: the bits of my neighbour's doors that I salvaged when I made her the fancy ones out of cedar. I don't know what this "wood" actually was - rubberwood, maybe? tupperware wood? - but I had more than enough of it for the edge banding, and I figured with some creative glue-ups, I could make it beefy enough to make the frames, too.

I started with the lower part and knocked the entire bookshelf together in a single weekend. I mean, sure, it's a relatively straightforward build, and the shelves aren't adjustable, but still, it's a pretty solid little case. This, of course, lulled me into a false sense of security (stop me if you've heard this before) about how well the rest of the project would go.

So then I started on the upper part, and that's when things went sideways. Actually, no - things went sideways LATER. Initially, I thought the build went really well. I probably overthought how the base and sides would go together a little bit, but I really wanted to be able to put glass into the side panels without needing to use mullions this time. So I came up with an idea that would allow me to build and paint the cabinet and then put the glass in. I cut out all the pieces, carefully fabricated the shelves (with splines, of course) and assembled the top in preparation for painting.

I mean, that was good enough that I went ahead and ordered the glass, anyway. And then with a gift card that my wonderful in-laws sent me for Lee Valley, I picked up an air sprayer that I thought would make it a lot easier to apply paint, and might even result in a smoother finish. I put together a little spray booth (it's only stupid if it doesn't work, right?) and had a go with my new toy.

Well, that sucked. I mean, it worked okay, but the primer I was using was old and kind of thick, and was a nightmare to clean up, what with being oil and all. I sanded it mostly smooth and then had a go with the topcoat, but then ran out of paint. I went to get more, but THAT paint was so old I couldn't really get the same stuff or color, so wound up having to put on another full coat on everything just to make sure it all matched. Also, trying to move two rather large pieces of furniture around on top of the work bench (along with three kind of tricky shelves as well) and not spray paint everywhere was kind of exhausting.

But I got it all done!

Then I went to install the glass and realized that I'd blown it. Completely.

See, when I ordered the glass, I ordered it within fairly tight tolerances,. I wanted to make sure that gaps around the front opening were pretty small so as to keep the dust down at least a little but, and there wasn't much room for error. There also wasn't much room for the hinges. Like, none at all.

On top of that, the holes I had drilled for the adjustable shelf pins had somehow gotten misaligned during assembly, even though I thought I was being super careful. Also, I wasn't at all happy with the way the reassembly had gone after putting the glass in the sides - there were visible gaps where I had to cut the paint to get the pieces apart and the lines hadn't closed up again during reassembly. Oh, and the damn paint was taking forever to harden properly; even though I'd sprayed on three top coats (give or take), the slightest rub or scratch would leave a visible white line.

So I started the whole top part over again.

I still had enough of the shitty plywood to make the back, top, and bottom, but I was out of the shitty rubberwood. Fortunately, the shelves were still okay, so I just needed enough for the side frames. Another foraging session in the wood shed uncovered a few pieces of fir that would do the trick okay, so I cut the top and bottom, and then glued up another back panel. I milled up the frames, and started attaching everything together.

Which is when I realized I'd screwed up AGAIN. Either I had been overzealous in attempting to make the case as wide as possible, or I had been over-cautious in my conservation of material for the frames, but the top and bottom panels were too short. I managed to separate the sides from the back and reclaim that material, but I was now out of anything suitable or thick enough to make the sides. Nothing else in my woodshed seemed to fit the bill, so I needed to get something decent.

Unfortunately, by this time the pandemic had started so I couldn't go and peruse the stock anywhere and see what was available. No problem, I thought, and called ahead to Windsor plywood to make sure they had some four-quarter (1 inch for you non-woodworking types) poplar in stock. They did! So I asked them to set some aside and went up to get it on a fine, though eerily quiet Saturday. Of course, the other problem with not being able to peruse the stock is that I kind of had to just accept whatever they brought out for me. But it looked right (if just the teeniest bit twisted) so I brought it home and started milling it up.

Turns out that it wasn't even close to an inch thick - it was closer to 7/8, and edging towards 3/4 once I had it all cleaned up and ready for assembly. This just wasn't going to work. So I headed back up the following weekend and got some birch that they claimed was 8/4. It wasn't, but it was close enough and I had just about had it with this project. 

This time, I took a simpler approach and just assembled the side frames all at once, and routed out the back to accept the panes of glass (which I still had from the first attempt). I tore a great jeezly strip out of one side - the side you can see from the front, of course - but I wasn't going to back off now.

I also painted it by hand this time, partly because I has already disassembled my spray booth so I could get the the workbench and table saw again and partly because the bottom part STILL didn't seem fully cured yet. And then I carefully drilled the holes for the hinges (messed up one of them so the door will never hang quite straight but... you know) and realized that the shelves would only fit while the doors were closed, and not while they were open.

So I cut down the shelves and repainted them.

Then I waited three weeks for the damn hinges to arrive from Home Depot and finally, finally, FINALLY put the damn thing together.

It's done.

We shall not speak of it again.