Testing the limits of a good cliche

I'm not sure what people expect when they come to this blog, but I can't imagine anyone's expectations are very high. (Unless, of course, they reached this blog through a combination of search terms like "how do I best go about hurting myself while accomplishing simple, everyday tasks?" THOSE people are happier than clams. Why are clams so happy? Well, that's probably a question for a different part of the Internet. We just do renos and mayonnaise here.)

For our regular customers, good news: this week, I thought I'd aim for a new low! We're going to test that aged saw about how pictures are worth a thousand words. If it's true, this will be wordiest damn post you ever read...

To best present our wealth of visual imagery, I give you:

Every single conversation I will have at work tomorrow morning!

Let 'er rip!

Unsuspecting Coworker:
Hey Don! How was your weekend?

Half-asleep Don:
Uh, well... we, uh.... kinda. Well, this:

UnCow:
What the hell is that?! And what is it doing in your driveway?!

Don:
It's called a rock box, apparently. It can hold up to ten yards of soil or, as the name would suggest, rocks. Of course, like everything we do, it wasn't quite smooth sailing:

UnCow:
That would be an inconveniently positioned sprinkler head, yes, but what the hell did you need something that damn big for?

Don:
To fill up with rocks. From here:

UnCow:
Oh, right, your patio! Man, that looks like a lot of digging. I sure hope you had some help!

Don:
Yeah.

UnCow:
...

You're nuts.

Don:
Yeah.

UnCow:
I meant help, like, other people.

Don:
Oh, absolutely. We had another couple come over with their picks and shovels and crappy-ass wheelbarrow. Couldn't have done it without them, actually. But we bought extra beer and snacks, and filled them full of pork before we sent them home:

UnCow:
Oh, man... Amy's Famous Pulled Pork. I bet that was good, eh?

Don:
Oh, yeah.

UnCow:
So did you drive that Bobcat yourself, or did you hire somebody?

Don:

UnCow:
Uh... wow. I guess they let just about anybody drive those, eh?

Don:
Yeah.

UnCow:
So how much of that rock box thing did you fill, anyway?

Don:
Well, even with the Bobcat, it was pretty slow going, actually. When we stopped for a quick lunch, we had really only done half of the earth removal, and hadn't even started on the tricky bits:

Of course, the skip was filling up pretty quickly:

In the afternoon, though, I was starting to get the hang of the controls on the machine, and by the end of the day, we'd filled the skip almost to the brim:

But you could really see the shape of the patio coming in:

UnCow:
That looks like a pretty good weekend's work to me.

Don:
Yeah, but then on Sunday, the War Department noticed there was some room left in the skip, and figured we should round off the corner a little better to make room for the retaining wall we'll have to build. And then we went and got a yard of road base:

At that point, the skip was REALLY full, and the gravel place had closed for the afternoon, so we had to call it a day.

UnCow:
Huh. And here I thought you were just going to go to the Times Colonist Book Sale this weekend!

Don:
Oh, I did that, too.

UnCow:
You really are a nut job, you know that?

Don:
Sigh. Yeah. I know.

UnCow:
So, uh, I almost hate to ask, but...

Don:
Go ahead.

UnCow:
Really? Sweet! So, uh, Don? Any, uh, updates to everyone's favorite feature,

The Injury Report?

Don:
Yeah: apparently, I'm not so hot with ramps. I was wheeling a wheelbarrow up into the skip, and the ramp jumped up and bit me:

I pretty much stayed in the Bobcat after that. Well, I tried to.

UnCow:
I'll bet! So, uh, any of that pulled pork left?

Don:
No. Go away now.

 

 

 

I'm missing SO many details, but everyone wanted to see pictures (DAD), and I'm unbelievably tired. So I'll sign off here, but a HUGE, mega-big thanks to Not-Those-Clarks-The-Other-Clarkes, who worked their butts off on our patio for nothing more than a few beers and some pulled pork. Sure, the pork was pretty damn good, but still - we owe those guys, big time. Oh, and everyone involved wanted me to say a special thanks to my ol' buddy, Theo, who had the bright idea to rent the excavator in the first place. Saved us a lot of time and effort, seriously.

And oh. My. God. Was it ever FUN to drive! I WANT ONE!!!